Thursday, June 27, 2013

Abigaile - on the Seashore of Remembrance

At 8:00 this morning, I saw an email come through, a special one that I have been anticipating for many weeks. I was so anxious to see the photo attached to the email, but due to my busy day and some technology challenges, I could not actually view the photo until I was home and able to get onto my personal computer.
So at 11:00 tonight, I was finally able to open the email and view the breathtaking photo that one baby loss mama (CarlyMarie on her Seashore of Remembrance) used her incredible talents to make for another.  When it opened, I was not expecting the rush of emotion that filled me, making itself evident in the hot burning tears that immediately overflowed from my eyes and ran in rivers down my cheeks
Her name, Abigaile, beautifully drawn in the sand. Under a breathtaking sunset made up of hues of purple and pink (colors I would have dressed her in as a little girl, for as long as possible until she insisted that I let her choose her own clothes). I believe that God was thinking of us as He painted this particular sunset, knowing that her name would be drawn in the sand on this specific evening.
Her name, Abigaile, that I will never see written in childish scrawl as she learns to pen her letters.
Her name, Abigaile, which came to my heart so quickly after I learned, just hours before her arrival, that she was a girl.
Her name, Abigaile, which means The Father's Joy.
Her name, Abigaile, that I will never hear her spell in an adorable little girl's voice, 
Her name, Abigaile, that I want to say so many more times per day than I do.
Her name, Abigaile, that I want to hear from the voices of those I love.
Her name, Abigaile, which will always be sacred to me.
Her name, Abigaile, forever imprinted in this breathtaking scene, by a fellow baby loss mama and a beautiful artist. Thank you, CarlyMarie, for this indescribable gift, from the bottom of my grieving mama's heart. You have given me a gift that truly can never be duplicated or replaced. I am humbled with gratitude to you. May your precious son Christian's legacy continue to live on in these beautiful names and drawings in the sand. This gift will be cherished for the rest of my life, until I meet my baby girl and hold her in my arms once more.

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